My Response To "aflame" on "Gay Monogamy"

Well, i wish i could say that you were 100% wrong, but unfortunately you are not.  My observations and life experiences have led me to know and believe the same things as you, albeit, maybe not to the same degree.  What i mean by that, is that i do not believe that 99% of gay men cannot or will not be monogamous.   I think it's probably closer to the 80% mark, that still not being much to write home about.  Also, you are basing your beliefs on gay men who often openly socialize at gay bars, baths and a multitude of other gay venues.   One thing that i realized early on is that there are a number of gays in committed relationships, who did not go to these places, many of whom were not known to mainstream gays and their more public gay lifestyles.   I would suggest that most(not all)of these gay men were monogamous.  These gay people i class as the "silent minority", largely unknown to the rest of the gay community, let alone straight society itself.

I understand, appreciate, and can relate to your disgust and disappointment towards most gays in this regard.  However, one must be careful not to use that broad brush too brutally.  Because you heart has been mangled, it's too easy for your eyes not to see clearly and fail to recognize that which is good and proud within most individual gay people.   Yes, all too often there is a lack of reality, depth and real love-committment within our own kind...that is sad!  But, does that mean that there is no love of any kind, no goodness of any kind, or no capacity to know and give love?  Of course not. 

Let's take a look at our straight-counterparts.  How many men and women are faithful to their partners?  What is the divorce rate?  Well, neither of these two statistics are anything to write home about either.  Yet the straight world has always had everthing in their favour going for them.  The sanction of religion, church, culture and governments all throughout history.  How could these straight partnerships ever go wrong?...but they do and big time!!!   What do most straight men ever talk about most from the time that they are young...sex and sports!   There is very little difference in their thinking about wanting sex and getting horned up over all kinds of women, whether they are married or not.  Are they really any better than the gay people on this issue?

Over-all, i tend to agree with you on much of what you have said.  I just ask that you don't get discouraged or allow anyone to discourage you.  You sound like a decent human being full of love to give to someone deserving of it.  Keep faith, keep love and leave judgement to a much higher Being!